- T.F.S. - Pure Nostolgia
remembering at 5:12 p.m. on 2003-04-24
She is rarely, tangibally by my side.
She was once...when we were young, and quiet in our ways. Two lost windows to the beginning...of just another small town desertion. Sitting side by side on the grainy cool curb, both with braces, both waiting for some prolific change.
A cigarette...dwindling in my hand like some laughable statement of my teenage independence. She, arms folded in a frown. I look on her with a kind of eminence...
she is younger than I, but seems to possess the one thing that I never seem to be able to hold on to....
pride.
She has a dominance about her. Though she is not much bigger than I, when she walks, her shoulders are back, and face open to any challenge that might afflict us. Her carefully styled hair, and baby pink tees, I smile at her because even through her assertive dominance, she is incredibly gorgeous.
I'm afraid most the time, to touch her. Me in my wrapped, dusty hoodie...thumbs peeking out thru cuff-sleeve holes. In the event of some deep offense. I am terrified of her desertion...any chance that I may become one of the lost followers of her; hijacking her dignity.
And still, she lives inside the embodiment of him...this manifestation of everything she must be.
The world falling in love with his grace, but maybe only I know the secrets of that frown...
She came in and out of my life sparatically, but always at the most poignant moments. Like a guardian of sorts, reminding me silently of who I wanted to be, and who I really was. Quietly picking me up from my self-devience...to caress a soul who often forgets the remainders of the purpose. And I, driving an hour out, just to embrace her one possible last time.
She reminds me...
never was � never will be
