Post Nothing
remembering at 12:20 a.m. on 2003-08-18
My feet flopped loosely in the blue untied sneakers. The laces frayed, ends chewed on by the gritty cement of my passing.
The faded smears of black ink in between my fingertips. Soaked into my skin, into the dry chapped lines. Trails of misplaced words.
The courtyard was bright, as the sun broke through the dreary skyline. Warm, invasive, optimistic sun. It's blaring streaks warming my pale premeditated scowl, and causing my eyes to strain against it. A wall of blearing provocation. I rub my eyes on the back of my graying black sweatshirt dismissively.
I listen to my hollow steps, pushing through the heavy, metallic door, and into the empty hall. Passing the paper-plastered walkways...two fingertips graze past the ancient, dismal gray locker bays.
Thump-thump...thump-thump....
Each groove, meeting my fingers, until it fell upon one...small...metal collection of numbers. I dug into the pouch of my sweater. A single, folded and frayed piece of lined paper. The tiny ending where it had been torn from its place of origin, soft against my touch. The dull corner, sliding in between the dark grooves of the locker.
My heart is silent. Nothing more to say. Affirmations and simple statements. It's finally a time to give, and receive what reaction. That reaction that drives me darker and deeper into the dangerous borders. I no longer remember the conversations. I no longer wish to compensate for my words, that end up swallowed in my throat.
I walk away, snapping the gum in my mouth loudly, and people begin trickling through the doors and into my space.
The paper...left as a flag.
A reminder.
