Lana's Wisdom
remembering at 4:25 p.m. on 2003-08-19
"Virginity....Is like,"
Her brown, mischievous eyes, sparkling in enunciation of her words, "A can of coke."
I narrow my eyes slightly trying to follow her. Stretched out in an indulgent of laziness, across the short, wiry carpet.
"See...you think you want it? And if you keep it around...you always have it..." She rolls the unopened aluminum cylinder between her long, tan fingers.
"But when it comes down to it. It's always better just to open it up and drink it. Or else...it just goes bad eventually."
Now I am laughing.
She smiles at me as if in revelation. Her crooked toothed smile, a filter of brightness, against her sharp native American features.
"You've got to be kidding me right?" I say, snorting almost as I move to sit up. Laying my fingers across the loose paperwork spread before us, I eye her amusingly.
"Yeah...but really. It's no big deal."
"Mmmhmm.." I mutter, tucking the end of my pen behind my ear, and a mess of blonde hair. I stare at the math equations before me, as if it were a blank wall.
"Seriously...what are you afraid of? It's soooo great. And I promise it doesn't hurt at all. Ok, maybe a little, but not that bad."
I lift my brow, smiling at her, from my downcast gaze.
"I will...I will..." I mutter with a small laugh.
She is running her fingers through her lengthy, strands of hair. Ripples of golden browns, crowning her milky-brown skin from one shade to the next.
Her thin cotton shirt, clung to her rounded body. Nearly thin enough for everyone to look, but plump around the ends. Enough to make her frown when she adjusts her skirt.
I find the glitter from the emblem of shirt between my fingertips, while turning the pages of the musty-yellowed text book.
Rubbing it lightly between my fingertips, I look back up at her. Watching her sloppy handwriting, twirl across the lined paper.
"Do you ever regret it?" I say, a little more quietly.
She stops writing for a minute, and flashes a smile.
"Of course not."
But I catch that dulling glaze in her eyes, before her gaze meets back up with the paper...and before I reach over to snap open the can of Coke.
never was � never will be
