Addictions
remembering at 2:42 p.m. on 2003-07-03
"Tell me you love me," his voice playful and dramatic.
"I love you!" I laughed, turning my face away from the glaring sun that made my eyes throb with it's brightness.
The new summer sun was just beginning to turn, all the dank moisture of the long winter, and short spring, began to evaporate into the thin crystals of dry heat. The trees above us were still in the process, watching us as we all baked in the hot sun.
Only the rough cement of the sculpture we lay sprawled out upon, kept us here. It's unnatural coolness chilling our skin.
Our backpacks lay abandoned on the wood chips below, as we hung here, suspended by the quickness of our youth.
His smile softened at me, and the moment was lost. He and his peculiar green eyes. Green like a serpent, and always watching me in steady adoration.
I never liked to watch his eyes, but I would spend many hours here, absorbing his affection as much as I could.
There was never a time when I cared who spent it in my direction. This was my game. How long could I keep it going, before I choked on my own suffocation.
He turned his head from me, and I could feel his emotions dropping into some unknown place. Temptation and curiosity, always allowed me to ask.
"What's wrong?" I said tenderly.
Often feeling like a mother when I did so.
"Nothing..I..."
I winced. His warm salty tears sending me into an instant torpor of confusion. I almost felt angry. Don't ruin me.
"I just, love you is all. I'm happy."
Sudden guilt.
I frowned a little. The pulls of my conscience wrapping around my heart in a dark strangulation.
"I love you too..."
I'm never ready to give up yet. The addiction is too strong.
never was � never will be
