Saturdays Now
remembering at 12:08 a.m. on 2003-08-03
I feel...
I feel...
I felt...
The simple symbolism for such a complex attachment.
"Do you want this light off?" His voice impatient, waiting for the punctuation of my reply.
"I don't care."
(and I don't)
These empty series of events. Hostile exchanges of inadequacies.
The light snaps off, and I am left in utter darkness.
Strange to me the symbolism, as my eyes adjust to the sudden lack of sight. Like his back turned to me. My vision trying to reach out into the depthless dark, only to feel the burn of endless searching...
falling, and falling again.
Acute loneliness, with no other reason than the misconstrued mechanics of human relation.
Self-induced masturbation of emotions because either he will not touch me, or worse, when he does I am left more empty than at the start.
Staring at the only fixated object. Blinking red numbers from an un-set alarm. It's pulsing numerics, falling apart in my mind as I systematically dissect the shapes.
Falling asleep, alone, in the darkness. The soft taps of his typing, drifting down the hall.
What of love now?
never was � never will be
