Inescapable Youth
remembering at 10:30 a.m. on 2003-07-13
It's always darker out here, in the country towns. Small community of the older folk, and their offspring, who either fled from here, as if this was some sort of hell, or remained. Sitting on the porches of these weathered houses in the moonlight.
We are neither of these. Nevertheless, left here to rot on this aging house's verandah. The split paint beneath our bare feet, as we laugh softly to each other, our gazes guided by the tips of our lit cigarettes.
My leg dangles over the side of the low wall that supports the beams. I can see the faint metallic green glow of her cat's eyes, as she stalks the midnight insects in the tall, unkempt grass.
This is my first time meeting her boyfriend. We had walked up here as he sat in the darkness. He was laughing to himself about how much he had drunken.
"I started at noon and I just ain't quit"
I chuckle, but do not smile.
She is the one smiling, open faced and loud, as if she has no idea where this darkness is going.
Her boyfriend rattles off 4-wheeling stories, times he has drunken himself stupid, stories of scars he now wears on his knees and arms.
His voice is low and animated by the alcohol. Tangled with the youth he just can't seem to escape.
She flips the porch light on, and for a moment I am blinded by the flood of light. My eyes catching the swarm of mosquitos that instantly begin to frenzy in the new brightness. When my eyes adjust I look over to this new acquaintance and become quiet.
He looks nearly 40, though he says he is 32. His weathered face framed by a Mossimo visor, and stalky build clothed in department store-racing attire.
I am instantly saddened.
His face turns against the light, sleepy, drunk eyes tilted to the right. His hand loosely kept around the neck of a beer bottle....he lets out an unnecessary laugh.
I look to her for reassurance, but she is already lost.
never was � never will be
