My dreamer
remembering at 4:25 p.m. on 2002-12-22
I waited forever for him. four years to be exact but who is really counting. There are some people that just seize your mind. They seem to know the ins and outs of every piece of possession that makes you cry. They can make you orgasm with just their words in 2.5 seconds...He broke me. I never met him but I sat there staring at his words, and listening to his voice like I was a cannible for his dreams. Bleeding through my fingers to reach him.
He was huge boy of 16, towering at 6'7 something...of sinewy pale exquisiteness. Child-like feathered eyes, brown and wanting...hair to his mid back...a soft frown for a mouth.
He was my monarch. His word was gold, and I bowed to every hint he gave me. Lapping it up like a eager child, who craves praise.
He promised he would come rescue me. Him and his empty pockets.
4,000 miles away and me waiting.
Or maybe it was going to be me rescuing him?
There are just some people who can enchant you. Break you down into the ground. Make you forget common sense...just for that one, tricky high...that comes from 800 hours spent on the internet waiting.
It's been near 2 years since he wrote. I know where he lived. I know how to reach him, but I keep danging that envelope in front of my mind wondering..
what are the moral consequences?
I gave up that addiction long ago.
My beautiful dark one...do you remember the dream?
You played it for me on a dark fall evening. I had snuck into the dark corner, clutching the phone...soft breaths as I listened to the monotones...angry notes of the piano. Your fingers feeling the vibrations, I could see them entering me.
I just wanted you to whisper that you loved me. Even if it was too soft to hear.
It's better now, that you hadnt. Sent me over your cliff....
Thank you keeper of my insanity,
beautiful, beautiful, esoteric dreamer.
My piscean twin.
My Cumha.
never was � never will be
